"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."
Mahatma Gandhi

Sunday, December 15, 2013


Well here I am 3.5 weeks out and just thinking of the pain of all of this makes me want to puke.  I'm just gonna tell you if you wrecked your knee when you were 17 and when you are 40 they tell you it's time to replace it, Do It. Do not wait until you are 58 and perhaps are dealing with another one of life's curve balls, like MS.  Just sayin. Should be obvious. I was still having too darn much fun with my knee in my 40s to bother. 

PT is an interesting form of torture, the government should really try it out on people they want to get info out of.   I am getting out a bit, got a haircut and went to rite aid woo hoo. Doing PT homework. I vacuumed today. Knitting, x stitch. I might make the bed tomorrow. Walking with a walker still, so afraid of falling. Walked with a cane for a bit, it feels scary. I'm losing more weight because food repulses me, figure that out.  I'm living on small meals, as much protein as I can stand, and fudgsicles.  I'm getting by and soon our young peeps will be here for Xmas. 

I figure this will all be done by the time I get back to the lake in April. That's what keeping me going. That and dear Dave's constant care. 

An observant blogging visitor asked why my incision is not straight up the middle, as they typically are in TKR.  It's cuz I just have to be different.  No, seriously it's is because I had some pretty fierce scars on my knee from the first surgery, on either side of my knee cap, the largest one on the interior side.  If they had sewn straight up the middle there was no knowing what those old scars on the sides would do.  So, they had a plastic surgeon in the OR who removed the scar tissue on the inside of my knee so they could incise and stitch there on fresh ground.  There was so much more I wanted that plastic surgeon to do, but I woke up without a tummy tuck, so I guess there wasn't time.  Since I'll never go near an OR again, I missed my chance.  

Sunday, December 8, 2013


Life goes on here, hmmm, the world didn't stop for me to heal.  Today I showered carefully on my own, yippee!  Since I've been using a shower chair for years due to MS, we had the proper technology on hand.  

And, this afternoon during football, that fluffy remains

Except she has again changed locations AND she has put on her sweater against the raw New England rain.  She's helping me out by displaying my post-surgery knitting project.  I have been concentrating on very simple projects, and after making about 50 of them, I tired of dish cloths.  So, I moved onto a scarf.  Easy pattern… in spite of that I find myself ripping out way too much, as my mind wanders to my knee instead of to the task at hand.  

Time and ice are my allies now, and they are working well enough.  I hate to wish away time…. but sometimes we each do, and right now I am wishing it was two weeks from now.  

Friday, December 6, 2013


Oh, how I wish Today's View was of the lake.  It is not.  You probably won't see a view of the lake or of a quilt until April or so.  Sigh.  I look forward to the spring so much, as we have peepers on the lake, and that is another song from my childhood that fills me with joy as an adult.  Spring peepers.  

Nope, today's view is:
A filleted knee.  I think it looks a bit better, don't you?  LOL.  Better is certainly a relative term. This is at about two weeks post-op and is for educational purposes only!  I am not a doctor nor do I play one on my Blog.  If you are going to have a knee replacement, you can take heart in the fact that your incision will not be this big, nor will it be this shape.  The surgery that I had on my knee 40 years ago made this surgery a bit different than your average Total Knee Replacement.  

My sister Christine is having a TKR (her second) next Tuesday.  She is a brave soldier and I am sure will get through this with little fanfare or noise.  That's who and how she is.  She had her first TKR 7 years ago.  

Thursday, December 5, 2013


Well the most exciting thing thus far this week is that the white fluffy has changed positions on my body, moving from my lap to my chest, where it snuggles into my Lanz bathrobe.
Who doesn't love a Lanz robe or nightie?  What a treat it was to find one under the tree as a child, as all our clothes were made by my mom, so a piece of clothing with a tag was a special treat. Silly us, those homemade nighties were probably 100% better than the store bought and 1/8 the price.

 In spite of that I remain a Lanz fan and head online to The Vermont Country Store for my occasional fix.  Perhaps next time I have one for the rag pile (that takes a hundred years and a million washings) I'll sew a Lanz nightie for my white fluffy friend. 

Sunday, December 1, 2013


On November 20, I got that new knee I'd waited so long for. Another lesson in be careful what you wish for...

I know, thanks for that visual. This picture was about one week post op.... if you think this is ugly, you should see the photo taken on day 3. This is such a painful surgery, I don't know how others come through it so gracefully.  I thus far have not. With MS, there are no safe nerve blocks and so I missed out on that luxury. And since narcotics and opioids make me puke, pain relief has been elusive. This has been very difficult on our household.  I hope that as two weeks post op arrives, the situation will improve. If it doesn't...I'll wait. 

I am up and around the house with a walker and have visiting nurses, physical therapists and home care coming and going constantly. The PT is nothing short of torture and most days I think "ya know it doesn't matter to me if my knee never bends again, I'm good, you can leave now."  

Now, every surgery is very different on every person…. but I am going to tell you that if your knee kinda hurts and gosh you think maybe you need a replacement…. do your homework and do it well.  A smart surgeon will come and tell you straight out--this is probably one of the most painful orthopedic surgeries we perform.  

I was beyond having any choice about a knee replacement, as we replaced a knee that suffered a pretty significant injury and surgery 40 years ago.  Post surgery, the surgeon told us "it was a horrible in there."  

Strangest outcome of the surgery is the fluffy white thing they apparently surgically attached to me
This is what my lap looks like ALL THE TIME!  When I stand up or take a shower it does somehow detach itself, but otherwise, this is what my lap looks like post surgery. This growth is really rather cute but is a bit demanding.  I hope that behavior diminishes along with the pain. 

Most of all, I hope that before long I'll have some quilting to share.  For now I'm enjoying hopping around your blogs!